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True Patty Grand Opening
This is an Transcript for a Grand Opening. Begins at a dilapidated "Patty Cafe" where a sign hangs over it that says 'Out of Business' * Big Bird: through desk drawers Peppermint Patty's lip balm. I could use these. * Grover: crying ''Big Bird, you shouldn't be going through Peppermint Patty's belongings. ''sniffs She won't like it. * Big Bird: Grover, I told you what her mother said. Peppermint Patty isn't coming back. a stethoscope. Tries to open the safe, putting a stethoscope onto the safe to avoid suspicion. Now, keep quiet so I can hear the tumblers in her safe. Patty walks in * Peppermint Patty: Hey, boys! Gasps with joy as Big Bird sheepishly hides his stethoscope behind his back * Grover: Peppermint Patty, I knew it! You're alive! to Peppermint Patty happily Big Bird, look, it's Peppermint Patty! Isn't this too good to be true? * Big Bird: Well, it was. * Peppermint Patty: You know, boys, being sick made me do a lot of thinking. My whole life has been about money. Saving money, collecting money, being infatuated to money touching money... back to normal talking Well, you get the picture. But no more. You're looking at the new, improved, non-cheap Peppermint Patty. cuts to outside the Patty Cafe where a giant 'Grand Re-Opening' sign is hanging. 'Buy' and 'Free' signs are in the window Welcome all, welcome! walks up to Peppermint Hello, little one. What you got there? * Rerun: Mac and Cheese. * Peppermint Patty: chuckles Of course, you do! You know what that means, right? * Rerun: I don't go hungry? * Peppermint Patty: No, silly! It means free toy! him a frog doll * Rerun: Gee, thanks Patty. I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad. * Peppermint Patty: I was, son, I was. Free toys for everyone! And free refills! cheers. Peppermint Patty runs up to Grover Hello boy! Say, where's Big Bird? * Grover: Oh, he's taking one of those break things in your office, I mean, the 'employee lounge'. cuts to Big Bird sleeping in Peppermint Patty office * Peppermint Patty: Joyfully Great! * Prairie Dawn: Excuse me, but I dropped my Drink. Could I get another one? * Peppermint Patty: Grover? * Grover: Yes sir. a sign where a disclaimer is shown Patty Cafe policy clearly states that once the food has reached the customer, it is the person's responsibility... * Peppermint Patty: Grover! down the sign That's the old policy. Now run back and bring out a fresh one. * Grover: OK, sir. into the kitchen * Peppermint Patty: Sorry about the confusion. out a toy Free toy? takes it, looking confused * Big Bird: Eugene, my man. * Peppermint Patty: Big Bird! How's the break coming? * Big Bird: Should be over in a couple of hours. Have Grover send back a patty and an iced-tea, will you? then walks off * Peppermint Patty: Sure thing, Big Bird. Take it easy. up to a customer watching a movie on a small monitor with headphones Are you enjoying your in-meal movie? * Baby Bear: I haven't seen this movie before! * Peppermint Patty: the customer on the back No expense spared for my valued customers. cuts to Peppermint Patty and Grover standing in front of the restaurant Look at all those happy faces. It sure does feel good to be generous. * Big Bird: in with some envelopes Here's your mail, Pepper. * Peppermint Patty: Thanks, Big Bird. You look rested. * Big Bird: Yeah, these naps at work are doing wonders for me. and yawns a little * Peppermint Patty: Credit card bills. Well, I knew this was coming. Let's see what the damage is. the envelope ''Only ten thousand dollars. That's not so bad. ''up to the cash register I'll just subtract it from today's profit. the register, but there is no money in it And... there's no money in here. laughs How delightful. * Grover: Big Bird, I'm worried about Peppermint Patty. * Big Bird: Me too. How are we gonna get paid? walk up to Peppermint Patty Gee, Peppermint Patty, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well. * Peppermint Patty: Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon. and Big Bird look at each other * Big Bird: Uh... "dream"? * Peppermint Patty: Sure. I'm still sleeping like a hibernating animal! * Grover: Umm, you woke up this morning. * Big Bird: Here's the bill. Patty takes the bill that Big Bird handed in * Peppermint Patty: You mean... I'm awake? then faces up and screams in Peter Robbin's Voice 'AAAUUUGH! 'races up to Telly Monster drinking orange soda and she confiscates it from him No more refills! it to the sink and the drink gets flushed down the drain. Then she runs up to two kids playing with toys. She steals them also. Give me back your toys, you freeloaders! then runs back over to Baby Bear watching the movie earlier Show's over, cheapskate! the TV off then presses a button that erases his memory of the movie. Baby Bear goes dizzy. * Charlie Brown: Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny! for the penny * Peppermint Patty: a hold of the customer's arm Your luck just ran out Chuck! * Charlie Brown: Good Grief. * Next Day * Big Bird: Welcome to Patty Cafe. My name is Big Bird. May I take your order? * Big-Nosed Man: Hmmm... uhh... oh, I'll have a... Bird takes out a pencil and a paper ...no. Bird puts the pencil and the paper away Maybe... out the pencil and the paper...no. Bird puts the pencil and the paper away ''Hmmm... I'll have... ''out the pencil and the paper ...no. Or maybe... * Big Bird: Are you planning on ordering today, sir? * Big-Nosed Man: I'll have Salisbury Steak with Buttered Noodles. Bird writes down order * Big Bird: Go on. * Big-Nosed Man: And Green Beans. * Big Bird: Daring today, aren't we? order and shows Grover Salisbury Steak with Buttered Noodles and Green Beans. takes piece of paper and puts with the rest of the orders * Grover: Coming up! * Big Bird: Whatever. comes up and tells Big Bird what he wants and Big Bird relays order to Grover ''One personal 6-Slice Pizza with Meatball slices! * '''Grover:' One meat-flavored pizza! Up! Bird takes the plate * Big Bird: Thanks, Grover. Elmer It's been a thrill serving you. * Elmer: Can I get some extwa sawt? * Big Bird: We're all out. * Elmer: Could you check? * Big Bird: No. glares at Big Bird as he leaves. * Grover: the cupboard and Taz is inside. Grover Gasps Taz! What are you doing here? If Peppermint Patty sees you, I'll lose my job. gives him a buttered toast ''It is I, your furry pal, Grover! I bet you're hungry. How about some lunch? ''eats the toast * Taz: Mmmmm! * Grover: Shhh! You got to be quiet or... * Peppermint Patty: Grover! closes the cabinet quickly as Peppermint Patty comes bursting in What was that? Is that a monster in here? * Grover: No, Pep. I was just practicing my imitation of Taz. * Peppermint Patty: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible! out * Grover: That was close. a tray with three sandwiches From now on, no more hijinks. Order up! the tray on the window. Taz eats it. Big Bird walks up to the window * Big Bird: Grover, where's my order? * Grover: Did you look under the tray? * Big Bird: No I didn't, sorry. under the tray then sighs Grover, could you just get my order? * Grover: They vanished. Big Bird, do you think the Patty Cafe is haunted? What if they come for me next? I gotta get out of here! to the door * Big Bird: Grover, there's no ghosts! * Grover: Oh. * Big Bird: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. eyes move to the side of his face as he notices Taz eating a customers food. Big Bird is still talking We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say? * Grover: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Big Bird. I'll be right back. Taz and shoves him under a cupboard * Big Bird: What's that? * Grover: Don't tell Peppermint Patty! I got it all under control! the cupboard Now then, you were saying? * Big Bird: Just get my order. out * Grover: You got it, Big Bird? chuckles Ghosts. eats Grover's Tray ''Taz, you ate my tray! ''burps out a spatula Taz, you ate my spatula! You ate all the Food! You ate the stove! You ate Blinky! * Blinky: burps out him with his eyes remaining Yeah! I Hate this Monster! * Big Bird: yelling... Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen. * Bert: Where's our food? * Ernie: I'm so hungry! * Big Bird: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway. * Peppermint Patty: Big Bird, what's going on in here? * Big Bird: Why don't you ask Grouchy Grover and his faithful companion the Eating Devil? * Peppermint Patty: into the kitchen Grover, what's the meaning of all these nicknames? Bryan Lee O'Malley! is by Taz's side, who has eaten too much * Grover: Taz got a belly-ache from eating my food, so I made him a bicarbonate of soda. burps out another ghost monster with its eyes remaning * Eyes: What did I miss? Patty gasps and pauses * Peppermint Patty: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that monster even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all! * Grover: OK, Peppermint Patty! Don't make me give up Taz! I know you think he's just a monster, but he's worst than that, I tell you. I Don't Know how he got here! licks Grover's cheek. Big Bird cries because of a bowl of onions near him * Big Bird: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here? * Peppermint Patty: The point is, sometimes you have to set things free even though it's hard. to Taz Look at him. He misses the great outdoors, the wide-open spaces, the rolling green pastures. The kitchen is no place for a Tasmanian Devil. * Grover: Alright, Peppermint Patty, I understand. * Frieda: because of the bowl of onions Big Bird is holding under his nose Hey! * Grover: OK, you're free to go. Taz outside I can't keep you anymore. cries I know it's hard for you to understand, but Peppermint Patty is right. You belong in the wild. leaves Well, what are you waiting for? Can't you see I don't want you anymore? Just get out of here, you stupid, dumb animal! Patty walks up to Grover Well, he's gone and I'll never see him again. * Peppermint Patty: It's okay. You did the proper thing. He's free now and we have no right to separate that wild animal from her natural habitat. * Grover: OK. and hugs her * Porky Pig: Th-th-th-th-That's all, Folks! * Bugs Bunny: Guess I Don't Need this Monster Anymore! Category:Looney Tunes Category:Sesame Street Category:Peanuts